MY CHILD / SELMA FLYNN (POMC) BOBBO.MEMORY-OF.COM (friend) "MY child
On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious child,
SO MANY MEMORIES / DARRYL SADLER (HIS CUZ )
Yo Von, what's good...I'm good tryin to make it in this world. huhhh... I didn't think that you being would have such an affect on me. Like, evertime I hear certant songs from jay-z , DMX, Biggie, or Ma$e, you always pop in my head. remember how we use to pop DMX cd in everyday after school. No stoppin to get a drink, no going to the bathroom, no food, no phones, no TV, straight to the radio and just lettin the cd ride. (smirk) We played that cd so much that we knew every word and breath was taken. At the end of the album we felt like we gave a concert or something. I miss those days. And i would do any thing to have those days back..... yo cuz DARRYL A.K.A BEAST
Good Times / Sharon Sadler (Aunt "Star" ) Hey Jevon,
It's Aunt Sharon "Star" as you so affectionately nicknamed me. That name always made me feel so unique and special, and no one was ever allowed to call me that, except you. It's been 3 months since you were taken away from us. I can't even describe to you how much you are missed! Don't think because your physical body isn't here that you are forgotten. Nothing could be futher from the truth. The family talks about you alot and all the crazy times we shared together. Uncle Oscar talks about the time you and Darryl snuck out of the house and he repremanded you and D and he could'nt even get you because he saw how scared you were. Zsa talks about you often and usually on her way to school. She'll mention how she misses you or that she had a dream about you, but she always says she knows your happy now and she talks to you sometimes. Shante' keeps your picture and article up on her mirror in her room. She misses your humor and she really just tries to be there for Kena, in any and every way she can and very much like you she doesn't pull any puches with her she tells her the truth about things and always tries to make her strive to do her best. Darryl, man I can't tell you how much that boy misses you and how your leaving has effected him. He doesn't talk much to anyone but me about you. I can see it in his face at times and feel it in his spirit and those will be the days he'll wear his memorial shirt of you. He appreciates all you have given him and left to him. He was your #1 cousin. Then there's me Jay, You were such a gift to us all, that we all took for granted. Your smile and commanding presence can never be replaced. I'm sorry we didn't know more or what to do for you, to help you, we tried. I think about your smile and your laugh. I think about how much you loved my cooking and would come over and scarf down any and everything I would cook. I think about the fun you and D would have out in the middle of the street until wee hours in the am slap boxing each other. And now I have pieces of you around here that you left for Darryl but I will always have all of you in my heart. Somethings I know: I know you loved to have a good time, you loved your music, you loved being with your friends, you loved children, you loved good food, you loved nice cars, you loved Krystal, you loved your family, but especially your mom and sister ( I remember all the talks we had). Jay, you'll always be with us , but if by chance you're ever looking for me, just look for the shining "STAR" . I love U!!
A letter to Jevon / Your Mom
....The days following your death....I felt God's arms holding me tight....I really felt all the prayers ..God spoke directly to me and told me he had you... right there with him...this is where the comfort for those .. first 2 weeks... came from.....I was able to make all your arrangements and I cut, colored and shaped your hair, eyebrows, and beard..... kena and I dressed you, put your timbs on..... kena and I were determined to get through your service without losing it..the main reasons....1- You hated to see either one of us crying...2- Everyone else would have lost it with us....we knew you would not have wanted it that way .. .I prayed all nite since I couldn't sleep...Your homegoing was beautiful ...I had a rough 24hrs and could not get any of my thoughts...of and for you...on paper... so I tried to speak from my heart.... I forgot so much..I almost lost my composure .... Shakena was perfect.... weren't you proud of her.... she held it all together as she spoke so fondly of her big brother right through the few tears that escaped her eyes...We both can't believe how much God held us up... It was a outer body expierence ....It's so much I couldn't remember .....including many of the people who came....everything was a blurr...I remember standing up there with Kena and looking at everyone and not seeing anyone looking back and it was over 300 people there...People were also amazed at us and couldn't believe our demenor...we were too......EVERYONE kept saying how strong I was....I can't take credit....I know it was nothing, but GOD.....It's like God prepared me for a time such as this....without Faith the pain would have been a million ..no a trillion times worst...I would have missed it all, in the hospital on heavy sedation.................I Thank God I could be there for you.......Fast forward ......Today is 3 month anniversary of your death .and I feel nothing.....the comfort has left and we are here with this ENORMOUS ABSENCE AND VOID....OUR GRIEF HAS JUST BEGUN.....kena and I are having a rough time .... we both have days when we are in shock, for me it's MORE difficult ....I don't know how I'm supposed to live without my SON..........sometimes I can't seem to function....When I go to the cemetary ..reality really hits....and I feel more devastated.....it seems that life will forever be like this....empty, lost, confused, pained and very angry at times.........Shakena recently told me ......she is unable to accept your death right now ....she will not go to the cemetary ......she can't handle it.....I want to go everyday... although some days it makes me more crazy to be there..... some days it's a comfort .....We're both.... dreading the holidays ... without you .....the life of the party won't be here ...We miss your laughter.... so much .. your jokes...your imitations.............We miss everything.....eventually..... I'm told this sharp pain will subside and the grief won't be so overwelming ....I'm told grief is a journey ......I can't go around ,over or under it.....I MUST GO THROUGH IT....one day...one hour...one baby step at a time.... some want me to hurry up and snap myself out of this .....I do too.....I have no control over this .....I hate feeling this way.. .....The people who truly care about us as well as strangers have been wonderful,supportive and understanding ......... and helpless .....the only thing they can do .....is pray ....it's quite difficult for everyone ..........who knew and loved you....... .you will be remembered....... always and forever.... in our hearts......your mother always loved you Close
DON'T GRIEVE FOR ME: FOR I'M FREE !.... I'M FOLLOWING THE PATH GOD LAID FOR ME..I TOOK HIS HAND WHEN I HEARD HIM CALL .....I TURNED MY BACK AND LEFT IT ALL ....I COULD NOT STAY ANOTHER DAY........TO LAUGH, TO LOVE, TO WORK OR PLAY...TASKS LEFT UNDONE MUST STAY THAT WAY... I FOUND THAT PLACE AT THE CLOSE OF DAY.......IF MY PARTING HAS LEFT A VOID.......THEN FILL IT WITH REMEMBERED JOY....A FRIENDSHIP SHARED, A LAUGH, A KISS.......AH, YES THESE THINGS I TOO WILL MISS.....BE NOT BURDENED WITH TIMES OF SORROW......I WISH EVERYONE THE SUNSHINE OF TOMORROW......MY LIFE'S BEEN FULL, I SAVORED MUCH.....GOOD FRIENDS, GOOD TIMES, A LOVED ONE'S TOUCH.....PERHAPS MY TIMES SEEMS ALL TOO BREIF....DON'T LENGTHEN IT NOW WITH UNDUE GRIEF...LIFT UP YOUR HEARTS AND SHARE WITH ME.....GOD WANTED ME NOW, HE SET ME FREE!
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